NOT BY CHOICE BUT BY DESIGN - Part 1
02/14/2020
Yesterday as I was writing letters to friends, God gave me the title to this post. I had some ideas of what I could write about, but I wasn't sure so I wrote the title on a blank page and set it aside. Tonight God gave me the post for the title.
I have gone to many of the "Christian" chapel services offered at this prison, and I was really burdened watching many of the leaders do mass salvation prayers. They would have the roomful of women stand up, repeat a prayer after the leader, and then tell all of the women they were now children of God and on their way to heaven. I began praying that God would send someone to give these women a clear plan of Salvation.
At another point in time I had to personally make a choice to complain and get bitter or praise the Lord that I was in prison and ask Him to use me while I am here. So every morning when I get up, I ask the Lord to use me any way He wants that day. Well about a month ago the Pastor of my favorite Bible study announced that they had obtained permission to hold Rivival services at this prison Valentine's Day weekend. (Yes, that is today!) I was really looking forward to these services so I began inviting women. Thursday night (last night) we had our regular Bible study, and I was disappointed that only about 10 women showed up. Pastor went on to encourage us to invite as many women as possible, as he was praying we would fill the room up - it holds 144 people.
Last night when I got back to my room/cell, I prayed and asked God to give me boldness to invite women to the Revival services. I work in a very public place, and today over 200 women came through. I honestly cannot tell you how many people I invited. I had one woman tell me that she didn´t believe in God, but she thanked me for inviting her. I just kept smiling, inviting and letting them know that they would be welcome.
I was among the first ten women to arrive, and I just sat amazed as the line of women kept coming. I don´t know the exact number of women, but I know there were over 100 women. There was gospel music, congregational singing, and two messages with a clear presentation of the Gospel. At the end, one of the preachers gave the invitation with everyone watching. and he told the women they needed to have the courage to stand up and go to the back of the room if they wanted to be saved. I never looked behind me, but I heard many women move to the back where they were shown how to be saved straight from God´s Word.
I sat down on my seat and began to sob. It hit me hard. All the pain, tears, suffering, time in prison, separation from my children and husband is all worth it if God uses me and/or my testimony to help one person. Just one! So I sat there and cried and thanked God for working in this prison, for using me in even the smallest way, and for showing me that He cares for me, and I have a divine purpose for being here.
I am not here by choice, but by design. So don´t feel sorry for me. Don´t worry about me. Just pray that I will be willing to be continually used by Him. God gets all of the glory for what happened tonight. He gets all of the praise. I can say, ¨To God be the glory, great things He hath done.¨
The best part is that He is not done using you or me. He wants to use us, broken vessels and all, if we are just willing. The revival services are not over, so look for a second post soon. God is working in this prison in prisoners´ hearts, and I can´t wait to see what He will do. He is certainly working in my heart. Praise the Lord!
Joy
Yesterday as I was writing letters to friends, God gave me the title to this post. I had some ideas of what I could write about, but I wasn't sure so I wrote the title on a blank page and set it aside. Tonight God gave me the post for the title.
I have gone to many of the "Christian" chapel services offered at this prison, and I was really burdened watching many of the leaders do mass salvation prayers. They would have the roomful of women stand up, repeat a prayer after the leader, and then tell all of the women they were now children of God and on their way to heaven. I began praying that God would send someone to give these women a clear plan of Salvation.
At another point in time I had to personally make a choice to complain and get bitter or praise the Lord that I was in prison and ask Him to use me while I am here. So every morning when I get up, I ask the Lord to use me any way He wants that day. Well about a month ago the Pastor of my favorite Bible study announced that they had obtained permission to hold Rivival services at this prison Valentine's Day weekend. (Yes, that is today!) I was really looking forward to these services so I began inviting women. Thursday night (last night) we had our regular Bible study, and I was disappointed that only about 10 women showed up. Pastor went on to encourage us to invite as many women as possible, as he was praying we would fill the room up - it holds 144 people.
Last night when I got back to my room/cell, I prayed and asked God to give me boldness to invite women to the Revival services. I work in a very public place, and today over 200 women came through. I honestly cannot tell you how many people I invited. I had one woman tell me that she didn´t believe in God, but she thanked me for inviting her. I just kept smiling, inviting and letting them know that they would be welcome.
I was among the first ten women to arrive, and I just sat amazed as the line of women kept coming. I don´t know the exact number of women, but I know there were over 100 women. There was gospel music, congregational singing, and two messages with a clear presentation of the Gospel. At the end, one of the preachers gave the invitation with everyone watching. and he told the women they needed to have the courage to stand up and go to the back of the room if they wanted to be saved. I never looked behind me, but I heard many women move to the back where they were shown how to be saved straight from God´s Word.
I sat down on my seat and began to sob. It hit me hard. All the pain, tears, suffering, time in prison, separation from my children and husband is all worth it if God uses me and/or my testimony to help one person. Just one! So I sat there and cried and thanked God for working in this prison, for using me in even the smallest way, and for showing me that He cares for me, and I have a divine purpose for being here.
I am not here by choice, but by design. So don´t feel sorry for me. Don´t worry about me. Just pray that I will be willing to be continually used by Him. God gets all of the glory for what happened tonight. He gets all of the praise. I can say, ¨To God be the glory, great things He hath done.¨
The best part is that He is not done using you or me. He wants to use us, broken vessels and all, if we are just willing. The revival services are not over, so look for a second post soon. God is working in this prison in prisoners´ hearts, and I can´t wait to see what He will do. He is certainly working in my heart. Praise the Lord!
Joy
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